Dear friend

(Exciting Guests, Imposter Syndrome, and “Success”)

We had a couple of exciting visitors this week in the P.O.! The details will have to wait, but big things are happening. Soon, a lot more folks will know about our little project.

On that note, I have a confession to make. Preparing for the visit, imaginging the space and materials through the eyes of others for the first time, I felt doubt creep in. The framed pieces should be on acid-free paper. Why haven’t I installed the solar gnerator by now? What if I sound like a crazy person even wanting to try this? What if I can’t make it all come together to match my vision? What if I fail?

Then I realized something. (And friend, it’s petty, but it comforts me).

Right now, all over the planet, there are people far less competent and far more cruel, in much higher positions of power and acclaimed “success.” And I don’t want to be like them.

That realization led me to three important conclusions.

First, if I spend too much time imagining my dream through the eyes of others, I lose the clarity of my greater vision.

Second, my job here is not to compare myself to others. My job is to show up every day and put my full effort toward meeting our mission just a little more effectvely than I did the day before.

Third, for me, “success” is measured by how often and how well I do the second thing.

When I get mired in self-doubt, before I accuse myself of “not good enough” I ask, “What does success look like for you?”

When I reflect on that, I have to acknowledge that success looks just like this, like connecting with you and creating something humble and weird and imperfect and amazing.

And I love that for us.

JH
Postmistress of Sinai